Sometimes life moves in dizzying, impossible-to-predict zigzag lines. Turns out, healing unfolds in much the same way..
Before my medical crash and burn, I thought I had everything set up for a comfortable retirement – decades of savings; valuable investment properties in two attractive New Mexico towns – Santa Fe and Truth Or Consequences, the latter with hot springs and popular lake; a business with fabulous clients; a wide and diverse social network; multiple vehicles; and lots of “stuff.”
Bwhahahahahaha!!! 😂😂🤣😂
🎶🎵🎶 Coldplay’s joyous “Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall” with gorgeous lyrics – “Don’t want to see another generation drop, I’d rather be a comma than a full stop, Maybe I’m in the black, maybe I’m on my knees, Maybe I’m in the gap between the two trapezes, But my heart is beating and my pulses start, Cathedrals in my heart.”What happened?
My life went into a steep and scary decline. I lurched around from one life-threatening medical and financial crisis to the next. Then, when septic shock struck several years ago, the tent poles collapsed and this latest drawn-out battle began.
A quick recap of the darkest days – Brain tumor and brain surgery (twice); massive pulmonary emboli shower, injuring pulmonary artery; nasty early Covid-19 followed by Long Covid; multiple bouts of pneumonia causing scarred and collapsed lungs; a dozen+ UTIs requiring hospitalization; intermittent kidney failure; cellulitis (a painful infection of the skin); countless other infections my battered immune system could not fight off, like RSV; paralysis (!!!) from the neck down for over a year; nasty chronic wounds on the back of my legs, still struggling to heal; a metabolic malfunction from TBI causing enormous weight gain; PTSD, anxiety and depression; chronic pain; weeks upon weeks in the hospital, and more. 😱 Yeesh!
A meme from the great bard, Leonard Cohen
Medical bills
As illness overwhelmed me, so too did medical bills. I earned too much and owned too much to receive any government aid whatsoever, like Medicaid. The bills were astronomical. Even with excellent insurance, I faced medical debt equalling the cost of a small home.
A catch-22 – the only way to get the care I needed was to own nothing. Zero, zip, nada. No houses, even the one I lived in. No valuables, and never more than $2k in the bank, per law. It had become increasingly difficult to manage things like tenants and consulting work. Ultimately, I declared medical bankruptcy, and poof, there went the last of my assets.
Then, an unexpected turn for the better! Looks like I’m not checking out anytime soon, after all. Much to my surprise, this battered jalopy of a body is bouncing back, slowly and in zigzag formation, but surely.
Consequently, I’ve moved from battle stance to reconstruction. So much good is happening…
I’m no longer paralyzed! 🎊 🥳🎉 Immuno support drugs have helped enormously, so infections are down. While I’ll always need to deal with damage that nasty tumor did to my HPA (the pentium chip that runs the entire body, no less), effects of that TBI have stabilized. Supplemental oxygen use dropped greatly (which they say never happens). Heart is strong – the cardiologist doesn’t even want to see me for a year. This body is demanding to move, stretch, do stuff. And, it’s sending clearer signals for what it wants and needs.
This blessing of a rebirth is a full-on chance to start over, albeit with some disabilities. I find myself before this vast empty space, scared and excited. Other than some stuff in that storage unit, I own nothing. I am officially disabled, with some benefits like Medicaid (for now anyway, but grrrr, the BB Bill). I have almost nothing, but am also free of obligations.
I haven’t worked in several years (miss it), and while full-time employment might be a bridge too far, part-time gigs are an option. Or, head off in an entirely new professional direction?
Plus all the other options – where to live? It would be easy for me to go anywhere in the world, preferably with lower altitude, as long as there are hospitals and specialty medical care within reach. And, a state that accepts “Obamacare” funds for state-run Medicaid. Also, there is the rebuilding those other pieces of life – Maybe revisit that bucket list? Serve various causes I care about? Create some new adventures?
As a person who loves a clear goal 🏹🎯, it’s darn uncomfortable to be so rudderless. I have no clear plans. Everything I come up with feels inauthentic. But one thing’s for sure – I fought like a champion to stay here, and I’m not giving up now.
I am left dwelling in that question – What’s next? I could have decades yet to live. Maybe. The extent of my recover is a huge unknown. For now, I’m watching for clues on where to aim myself in this third era. Possibly, the answers will come in a dream, or from one of you. I’m open to suggestions! My cosmic antennae are fully extended. 📡
I’ll keep you posted here. This is gonna be exciting. Thank you for following my story and for your financial support, it means so much to me, and makes such a huge difference. 🙏💞 Next missive, I’ll return to more tales of nursing home shenanigans.
With much love, Karen 💞🥰💞
PS: Your Amuse Bouche – Enjoy this clip of my favorite new stand-up comedy performer, Josh Johnson. His star is rising fast, definitely one to watch.
About this series…
Karen Strickholm had a hidden brain tumor on pituitary gland. The tumor she didn’t know she had until she was about 50, wound up taking her health and all she had built in life. Her tumor, diagnosed in 2008, caused a tsunami of symptoms and eventually forced her into long-term care in a nursing home and a series of hospitals.
This is America, the only developed nation that does not have universal healthcare, and the only developed nation where medical debt can force you into bankruptcy.
Karen became one of the financial statistics due to her medical debt, and the fact that she couldn’t get Medicare unless she was literally penniless.
What made Karen different from many other people was her relentless optimism and belief that she was going to get better, would walk out of the nursing home to build a new life. She was smart, a good writer and she left behind a number of digital artifacts, which have been collected into this series. Karen relates, in her own words, her journey through the American healthcare system and the reality living penniless in a nursing home long term.
Karen Strickholm died 5 April 2026 in a hospital in Albuquerque, New Mexico, of sepsis and pneumonia. She was 67.
This multimedia documentary series is her story.
Medical bankruptcy
• Approximately 66.5% of non-business personal bankruptcies in the U.S. were attributed to medical reasons in 2019.
• 1 in 10 U.S. adults (10.5 million) have experienced medical bankruptcy since 2001.
• 78% of bankrupt individuals in 2022 cited medical expenses as their primary cause.
• Medical bankruptcy rates increased by 21% from 2010 to 2020, even as overall bankruptcy rates declined
• The average interest rate on medical debt from bankruptcies is 21% (2022)
https://worldmetrics.org/medical-bankruptcies-statistics/ Nursing home stats
• On any given day, more than 1.3 million individuals receive care in a nursing home or skilled nursing facility, and a total of more than 4 million receive care each year.
• 6 out of 10 residents (64%) are short-stay patients who remain in a skilled nursing facility for an average of 25 days.
• Nearly four out of 10 residents (36%) are long-stay residents. These individuals often have multiple health conditions. Their average age is 76.
• Nursing homes employ about 1.5 million people.
• Nearly 90% are women, and 60% are people of color.
• One out of every five nursing home workers is an immigrant.
• There are around 15,000 nursing homes in the United States.
• The average size of a nursing home is 109 beds.
• Medicaid covers the cost of care for nearly two out of every three residents (63%).
https://www.ahcancal.org/Data-and-Research/facts/Pages/default.aspx
